Links I Like And Random Thoughts 092223

Gratitude for mentors edition.

Today is the first anniversary of the passing of my de facto brother, Jay DeVoe. This morning, I visited his grave and encountered his parents (my second parents). His mother wanted to take this photo of me. I figured I should smile as if Jay were alive beside me. Kinda weird, I know, but that’s the decision I made.

Image: Mary Bruce DeVoe

I wrote a tribute last year that said all that I have to say about Jay. I am listening to this Spotify playlist I created as I write these words.

Yesterday, one of the greatest teachers and coaches Jay and I had the privilege of learning from at The Collegiate School died. Charlie McFall was the epitome of the teacher-coach. He devoted his entire career to helping kids become the best versions of themselves in the classroom and on the playing fields. Most famously, dear reader, Charlie coached Collegiate alum Russell Wilson, now playing his 12th season in the NFL as quarterback of the Denver Broncos.

Another of my great teachers, coaches and friends, Weldon Bradshaw, wrote eloquently about Charlie on the Collegiate website this morning, as I knew he would.

The legendary Charlie McFall.

This post is not about death, however. It is about gratitude. I have reached a point in my life where most of the adults who served as teachers, coaches, mentors, and positive role models during my first 25 years have passed.

These were people who didn’t need to devote as much time to me as they did. They did not have to take a sincere interest in my life and my actions. But they did so anyway. Adults at school. Adults at church. Adults who were friends of my parents. Adults who were parents of my friends. Neighbors. Adults with whom I worked. Relatives (I’m fortunate to have had great aunts and uncles, for example).

Some, like Weldon, are thankfully still with us, and they actually subscribe to my Substack newsletter!

I’ve been thinking about how blessed I’ve been to have all of these great mentors in my life. And now, what is my role for younger generations?

Obviously, as the father of three I’m doing my best to be a positive influence and role model for my children. But circumstances have robbed me of the chance to really get to know their friends.

I’ve done quite a bit of teaching and tutoring over the years. I enjoy that work because I believe I might actually be helping my students. As any teacher will tell you, though, at the time you have no idea whether you’re even getting through to the students. Only after the fact might you see tangible results.

Last fall, I attended a Collegiate homecoming event and encountered one of my former students. (I taught journalism there part-time for a couple of years.) He and his wife, both Collegiate alums, now have their eldest child at the school. My former student gave me a big hug when he saw me. That was very gratifying.

Small world aside: That student actually lived in the same house and the same bedroom I occupied when I was a Collegiate student! Right across the street from my friend Jay’s house.

I don’t think we can overtly try to be mentors. I think we can only engage in mentor-like activities in our attempts to be altruistic. We can only try to be positive forces for all those around us, regardless of age or relationship. But the foundation has to be sincerity.

In the end, those positive forces make a difference in this world, despite seemingly overwhelming opposition from the negative forces.

I’m somewhat embarrassed to say I had never heard of the poet W.S. Merwin until today when I was searching for quotes about mentors. He won the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry twice. He was the United States Poet Laureate. He died in 2019. Here’s the money quote:

“Now all my teachers are dead except silence.” W.S. Merwin

Here is an excellent sampling of Merwin’s work. I want to read more of his writing.

What are you going to do with the silence? What is the legacy of your teachers?

Now, it’s time for audience participation! Think about a mentor or role model who had a great influence on you and write about that person in my Chat. Let’s exclude obvious selections such as parents or siblings, if that’s OK with you.

Have a great weekend! See you in a few days!